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You Gotta Be Kidding!
Apr. 27, 2017 7:14 am

Man, I was ticked last night. I was on my way home from emceeing an event at the La Crosse Center. I had parked on Level 4 of the parking ramp across from the Center, and when I had arrived at 4pm I had to stop for the gate and get a ticket. Knowing I was going to be there for about 6 hours, I really didn't mind paying a few bucks for parking. So when I backed out of stall at the end of the night, around 10pm, I was not happy to find it was bumper-to-bumper waiting to get out. I figured there wasn't much I could do about it since everyone had to stop and pay on the way out, right? And after all, I had parked on the 4th level. Imagine my surprise when I got to the gate, put my ticket in, and the machine said I didn't owe a dime, lifted the gate and out I went. Now, I'm not griping because I didn't have to pay. After all, that was nice. But there's a sign right on the machine that says "If Gate Is Up, No Payment Is Due", so clearly they can set the gates to stay open. So why then, did they make everyone stop at the gate, put our ticket in, and then let us go for free? You see what I'm saying? I sat in line for nearly a half hour while everyone had to stop when the gates could have just been left up and we all could have been out of there in half the time. Again, thanks for not charging me, but when you have to get up at 4 in the morning, it's no fun sitting in the ramp for a half hour. What do you think, should I have just been thankful I didn't get charged? What are your parking pet peeves/
Drop me a line: john@kicks1063.com

Perfect Little League Sign Gives 5 Reminders for Obnoxious Parents at the Game
Apr. 26, 2017 7:01 am

You hear it at ballparks all summer long: ?Aw come on, ump, open your eyes!? ?Unbelievable!? ?Really, Blue!? You got to be kidding me.? Such insults are commonly hurled at Miller Park and other major league fields across the country. Professional umpires know it comes with the job. But on other ball fields, such shouts can trigger tears.As spring comes again and with it little league baseball, hoards of screaming parents return to the bleachers ready to shout insults, lose their cool, and humiliate their children in the name of competition. One little league in Glendale Wisconsin puts up a sign each year to remind parents to act civilized, and to remember that a little league game is not as high stakes as it might feel in the moment. Here's the five simple rules and reminders the post:
1) These are KIDS.
2) This is a GAME.
3) Coaches are VOLUNTEERS.
4) Umpires are HUMAN.
5) Your child is NOT being scouted by the Brewers today.

The relatable post went viral when a parent posted it on Reddit, with parents everywhere commiserating over that one mom or dad who always shows up with a creative new obscenity to hurl at the ump. As the post went viral, John Diedrich, the little league president, reflected on his league's sign?why it's so popular and why it's so necessary.
      "I know our league is not alone in having such parents get out of hand. It?s a well-documented problem. And it is not just spectators. I have also seen parents volunteering as coaches lose their cool. As these ugly scenes play out, the players - the kids - are watching. The result can be players themselves becoming poor sports. But just as many players turn away from the sport, embarrassed or just burned out by the intensity of their parents."

Planning A Wedding? "Vogue" Says Don't You Dare Go Rustic!
Apr. 25, 2017 6:12 am

I'm a guy, which means that automatically I know nothing about planning a wedding. But I DJ at plenty of them during the wedding season, so I've had the opportunity to see a lot of changing fashions over the years. ONe theme I've seen a lot is the ":rustic" look, what the experts call "Bohemian" or just "BoHo", and being a country guy, I like that look. But now, the pros at Vogue magazine say put down that burlap-tied napkin and step away from the Pinterest board because the boho wedding has finally had its day.
      Flower crowns are officially out and it seems the humble chalkboard sign has had it's day too. But it's not just an unoffensive strip of blooms and a friendly framed run down of proceedings that one is to avoid when pulling off a 'trendy' wedding in 2017, plenty more unassuming additions to one's Big Day are also in the firing line.
      Rustic has become "an almost taboo word" for weddings according to Virginia Edelson, founder of event planning firm Bluebird Productions, who names burlap-tied napkins, cocktail tables, wood slices and twine-tied favors among her particular bugbears. Noting that items like dreamcatchers, fathers and arrow are "merely seen as kitschy," she adds that "moving forward, we want to see people moving more toward a mountain-elegant vibe."
      According to Los Angeles and New York City?based event producer Yifat Oren, 'family-style' dinners are out, while celebrity wedding planner Mindy Weiss is bored of the all-white wedding.
      The 'archaic practice' of the bride's family footing the bill for the affair is a definite no-no for one wedding planner. "The idea no longer makes sense," notes David Stark, Brooklyn-based wedding and event planner who says to "Go Dutch or go home!"
      "People should be really careful with fashion trends," advised Alison Laesser-Keck and Bryan Keck, founders of VLD Events, and those found on image sharing site Pinterest are some of the ones to particularly steer clear of. ?Pinterest can be an excellent tool for brides-to-be to find inspiration and get their visions in motion, but the home page?of?Pinterest wedding look is well overdone. I?m talking about chalkboard signs, bohemian naked cakes, and geode everything. We thought that boho chic was on its way out last year, but somehow it stuck around for 2016. Let?s hope 2017 can finally ditch the trend," says Colin Cowie, wedding and event planner.

So here's a handy run-down of wedding no-nos for 2017...

1. Witty bar menus/drink names
2. 'Family style' dinners
3. Boho/Rustic style weddings
4. Garland centrepieces
5. Huge bridal parties
6. Oversized bridal bouquets
7. The bride's family picking up the tab
8. The 'all white' wedding
9. Long, formal meals
10. Runners/cowboy boots
11. Incompatible color palettes
12. Flower crowns
13. "The Pinterest Wedding"
14. Food trucks

Some Believe Aaron Hernandez Died to Protect His Estate
Apr. 20, 2017 6:00 am

By committing suicide inside his prison cell early Wednesday morning, Aaron Hernandez died an innocent man. At least, that is how the state of Massachusetts will view it. Martin W. Healy, chief legal counsel to the Massachusetts Bar Association, told Evan Allen of The Boston Globe about a legal principle called ?abatement ab initio,? which in layman?s terms means ?from the beginning.? What that means is that if a person dies before exhausting all possible legal appeals in a case, the case reverts to its earliest stage.

In other words, Hernandez was never convicted of murdering Odin Lloyd in 2013.

?Unfortunately, in the Odin Lloyd matter, for the family, there won?t be any real closure,? Healy explained. ?Aaron Hernandez will go to his death an innocent man.?

Massachusetts is one of several states that still observes the abatement ab initio principle. Perhaps more importantly, it could now help protect Hernandez?s family against civil litigation going forward. Now that Hernandez has not technically been tried for the murder of Lloyd, no evidence established during the Lloyd trial can be used in civil court. Other states have abandoned abatement ab initio after high-profile murderers had their convictions wiped clean because of their deaths, according to Healy.

Department of Correction officials say Hernandez gave no indication that he was suicidal and did not leave a note in his cell, so we may never know why the former NFL star decided to take his own life. In fact, some people close to Hernandez believe he was murdered. Hernandez?s attorney is launching an investigation into the ex-New England Patriot?s death.

The details surrounding Hernandez?s death make it seem impossible that someone else could have been in the cell with him. In reality, the people who refuse to believe Hernandez could take his own life are probably the same ones who did not believe he could take another man?s.

Source: larrybrownsports.com

Top 10 Most Popular Wedding First Dance Songs
Apr. 18, 2017 7:16 am

With wedding season on the horizon, couples are starting to think about their first dance, which of course includes choosing a song that they can dance to together for years to come! For couples seeking some inspiration, here are the Top 10 Most Popular First Dance Songs in 2016 according to wedding site The Knot.

1. "Thinking Out Loud" by Ed Sheeran

2. "From the Ground Up" by Dan + Shay

3. "Can't Help Falling in Love" by Elvis Presley

4. "Die a Happy Man" by Thomas Rhett

5. "All of Me" by John Legend

6. "You are the Best Thing" by Ray LaMontagne

7. "At Last" by Etta James

8. "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri

9. "I Don't Dance" by Lee Brice

10. "Then" by Brad Paisley

And while some of these songs won't be going away anytime soon, the editors at The Knot have a few predictions for new songs that will be popular for 2017:

"Perfect" by Ed Sheeran

"Remedy" by Adele

"Yours" by Russell Dickerson

"Greatest Love Story" by LANCO

"In Case You Didn't Know" by Brett Young

Good to see so many country songs in the list, right? Is there one of your favorites that didn't make this list? What was your First Dance tune? Drop me a line: john@kicks1073.com.

So Just Why Does The Easter Bunny Fill Our Easter Baskets?
Apr. 14, 2017 6:05 am

Ever wonder why a mystical rabbit fills baskets with candy for us on Easter? Or why we run like lunatics, hunting for eggs? I did, too, so I went to an expert. Tom Ryan, Ph.D., director of the Loyola Institute for Ministry, said there are a range of myths or symbols involved with Easter, rooted in the history of the holiday.

First off, Easter is to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. "The Easter Bunny and Easter eggs are both symbols of life," said Ryan. "Rabbits are prolific, and eggs are about new life so they are symbols that represent what Easter is about, and that is that life has conquered death."

The candy is meant to serve as a mark for breaking the Lenten fast. But why do we have ham on our Easter dinner table? "Ham is a more recent development," said Ryan. "But lamb is an important part of Jewish Passover, and Christians associate the Last Supper that leads in to Easter with the Jewish holiday."

As for the Easter bonnet, well according to Ryan, the reason we get all dressed up on Easter is to feel something bodily, to experience the message of Easter, which is that in the end, death does not win, life does.

Tips Before Adopting a Bunny for Easter
Apr. 13, 2017 5:54 am

What kid doesn't want a bunny for Easter, right? Didn't we all want one when we were kids? It's not that it's a bad idea, but just like getting any new pet for the family, you've got do it after getting fully informed. Clay Humane, a nonprofit veterinary clinic in Orange Park, FL is offering tips to people considering adopting a rabbit this Easter. "Bunnies are adorable and a familiar symbol of Easter, so many children beg their parents for pet rabbits around the holiday," said Dr. Christian Broadhurst, senior staff veterinarian at Clay Humane. "Unfortunately, many rabbits are abandoned and end up in shelters after Easter because people don't understand bunnies need a lot of attention and time." Broadhurst offers five tips to families considering adopting a rabbit:

? Ensure you have time to allow your pet rabbit time to exercise outside his or her cage. Rabbits need lots of exercise every day.

? Make sure you are prepared to clean the rabbit's litter box daily. Bunnies need clean litter boxes each day.

? Keep a special diet of Timothy hay and well-washed dark, leafy green vegetables on hand. Do not feed rabbits food that isn't part of their special diet.

? Rabbits typically don't like to be picked up. Make sure family members understand your pet rabbit most likely will not like being cuddled.

? Prepare for regular trips to the veterinarian. Just like other pets, rabbits need regular checkups to stay healthy.

"Rabbits make excellent pets for people who have the time and patience to care for these beautiful creatures," Broadhurst said. "If you aren't sure if you are ready to adopt a rabbit, try giving your child a stuffed bunny to teach him or her about caring for a pet. Then, when you are ready to adopt a pet rabbit, visit a local animal shelter or rescue group.?

STUDY: Country-Style Dance Can Increase Brain Function
Apr. 11, 2017 6:27 am

This is why we country fans are so smart! It turns out country dancing, which involves detailed choreography, does more to boost brain functioning than other exercises, according to a new study recently published in Frontiers in Aging Neuroscience. Researchers from the University of Illinois in Urbana and other schools recruited 174 healthy subjects in their 60s and 70s ? both sedentary folks and those who already practiced light exercise.

They had the subjects take tests measuring their ?aerobic fitness and mental capacities, including processing speed and a brain scan with a sophisticated MRI machine,? the New York Times reports. All subjects proved to have degeneration of their white matter, including ?slight thinning of the size and number of connections between neurons.?

The folks were then split into three groups. The first group did brisk walking, the second engaged in stretching and balance training, and the third was invited to hit the dance floor: ?These men and women showed up to a studio three times a week for an hour and practiced increasingly intricate country-dance choreography, with the group shaping itself into fluid lines and squares and each person moving from partner to partner.?

After six months of exercise, says the article, participants from all three groups were invited to retake the tests they had taken at the outset of the study. The results were shocking. Participants in the first two groups showed increased degeneration in white matter. But the third group ? the dancers ? not only avoided that fate, but their white matter actually became more dense, particularly in the ?fornix, a part of the brain involved with processing speed and memory,? says the article.

When they were asked to retake thinking tests that they had taken six months prior, though, none of the groups outperformed any other. All did better on the tests, but the dancing group ? the ones whose white matter had been beefed up ? were at about the same level of cognitive function as their peers, says the article. The researchers? conclusion? ?There could be a time lag between when the brain changes structurally and when we start having trouble thinking and remembering,? said Agnieszka Burzynska, the study?s lead author and a professor of human development and neuroscience at Colorado State University in Fort Collins.

The fact that all participants? mental performances improved showed researchers that physical activity ? especially of the social variety ? is healthy for brain function. But ?the cognitive demands of the dancing, which required people to learn and master new choreography throughout the six months of the study, affected the biochemistry of the brain tissue in the fornix,? Burzynska told the New York Times.

The general takeaway, says Burzynska, is that exercising and socializing are both crucial for keeping brains healthy and sharp as we age. But learning the contra dance and sashay is a whole other ball game. The intricacies and intense social interaction of country dance was a game changer for participants, which could shed light on choreographed dance as a means of warding off cognitive decline.

More research needs to be done, researchers say, to measure the effects of other kinds of exercise and different types of choreographed dance (foxtrot, anyone?) on mental functioning and the regrowth of white matter. In the meantime, if you?re over 40, or you simply want to keep your brain in shape, then grab your partner and dosey doe!

STUDY: 59% of People Eat a Chocolate Bunny Starting with the Ears!
Apr. 10, 2017 7:12 am

Easter is just days away, and that means it's almost time to unwrap a chocolate bunny and surrender to your sweet tooth. Unless you've been biting into those bunnies ever since they hit store shelves weeks ago. Of course, no one would judge you for taking an early nibble.But they might judge how you nibble. That's because there's a right way and a wrong way indulge in the seasonal sweet treat.

A recent study published in The Laryngoscope journal found that the vast majority of bunny consumers (59 percent) start with the ears. The study utilized online research to determine the bunny-eating habits of over 28,000 people, and the ears-first method proved to be the norm. Not so normal? You might even say abnormal? The feet-first approach. Yes, there are folks out there who flip their bunnies around and start with old rabbit's foot. But not many of them ? only 4 percent start there. As for everyone else, they just enjoy chocolate that happens to be shaped like a bunny without even paying attention to the parts. Researchers found that 33 percent of people indicate no preference at all when going in for the all-important first bite.
Of course, if you happen to be among the "abnormal" crowd, don't worry. While the study is on the up-and-up, the topic is intentionally tongue-in-cheek. Or ear-in mouth.

What to Buy in April: Spring Wear, Garden Gear, Easter Goodies, and More!
Apr. 6, 2017 6:26 am

Sure, April can be a rainy month. But it's also a great month for shopping! You can find top-notch savings on seasonal apparel, Easter goodies, garden gear and furniture, and deals surrounding Tax Day (April 18), and Earth Day (April 22). Also, a variety of retailers are celebrating Administrative Professionals' Day (April 26) with snazzy discounts. We've rounded up a list of some of the best deals, along with exclusive tips from retail experts.

1. Seasonal Clothing and Shoes

Finally we can ditch those clunky winter coats! And slip into some sweet savings. "The general rule for dressing yourself in deals is to wait about two months after a new season of apparel hits stores before cashing in on sizable discounts," noted Benjamin Glaser, features editor with DealNews. "Many retailers began debuting their spring merchandise in February, which means April is the two-month mark. You'll see the warm weather in full effect with deals like sandals at JCPenney for $15 (discounted by $25), polo shirts for $3 (discounted by $9) at Sierra Trading Post, and lots of deals on linen clothing, shorts, and more." Glaser suggests checking out the Eddie Bauer Spring Sale, the Hollister Spring Sale, and the Michael Kors at Spring sale. Also consider Forever 21's BOGO on sale items, running through April 2. And don't forget some new kicks. Sara Skirboll, shopping and trends expert at RetailMeNot says now is the time to find deals on a variety of shoes. "Shoes, especially athletic/tennis shoes, are upwards of 30 percent off [in some stores]. Winter styles need to be cleared out to make way for new spring and summer styles like sandals. Right now Macy's is offering $10 cash back for online purchases of $50 [or more] and you can score 12 percent off plus free shipping with code RETAILMENOT at New Balance." Brent Shelton, online shopping expert at FatWallet, recommends using Ebates.com to earn up to 20 percent cash back on "nearly any spring fashion purchase imaginable."

2. Garden Tools and Patio Furniture

"Whether just getting out in the yard for the first time, or pushing past lawn prep and into spring projects, April offers savings from huge lawn and garden deals through the month," said Shelton. "Expect 20 percent off and more on lawn seed, fertilizers, perennial bulbs and plants, shrubs and trees, and many of the tools to do the work. Plus, bigger-ticket items like patio furniture, grills and lawn equipment will be on sale with savings that beat May and June prices on these items." Home Depot has slashed the prices on select patio furniture such as the Hampton Bay Pembrey 7-Piece Patio Dining Set, retailing for $629, down from $899, through April 9. Sears has marked down items such as the Craftsman Pro Series 33" 357cc Two Stage Snowblower with Power Steering, available for $1599.98, down from $2199.99. Lowes has launched Spring Black Friday Deals, an event that touts savings for green-thumbed shoppers.
3. Easter Candy, Crafts, Baskets, and Flowers

"Most major retailers bring timely savings on candy, gift baskets, decorations," said Shelton. Kendal Perez, savings expert for CouponSherpa points to See's Candies, which is featuring $5 off in-store purchases of $30 or more through April 16 with this printable coupon. Over at Hobby Lobby, you can save 40 percent on Easter crafts, decor, and party supplies through April 17. At Jet.com, take 15 percent off select candy brands for Easter (with a maximum discount of $30) through April 18 using the promo code EASTERCANDY15. 1800Baskets is touting 20 percent off Easter baskets through April 17 with the promo code BUNNYHOP, and Easter floral arrangements are discounted at FTD, which is offering 20 percent off through May 1. Expect bigger Easter deals to pop up once the holiday has come and gone. Stores will be trying to move all that cute and sugary inventory. "Easter is on April 16, [so] look for clearance sales to start on the 17th," said retail expert Courtney Jespersen at NerdWallet. "Retailers will be motivated to move their plush bunnies and marshmallow Peeps off the shelf, so expect clearance-level prices to kick in toward the end of the month."
4. Tax Day Freebies

Didn't get the tax refund you were hoping for? Don't be blue; retailers have freebies for you! "Each year on tax day, retailers, restaurants and all sorts of other businesses give away freebies," said Jespersen. "In past years, giveaways have run the gamut from cheeseburgers and cookies to shaved ice and paper shredding." Most of these freebies haven't yet been announced, but it's likely that past participants will continue their savings tradition. In the past, Arby's has served curly fries for free on Tax Day, and AMC gave out popcorn at no charge. "Check social media in the days preceding April 18 for promotions and redemption instructions," said Jespersen. Keep in mind that Tax Day is occurring during National Park Week, so consider forgetting all about money and getting some fresh air for free at parks waiving their fees.
5. Earth Day Deals

"Earth Day falls on April 22 and select retailers celebrate with discounts and giveaways to eco-friendly consumers," said Perez, "In the past, we've seen such retailers as Target, Wegmans, The Disney Store and Natural Grocers give out free reusable bags to shoppers who brought in plastic shopping bags for recycling. "Last year, American Eagle hosted an Earth Day Event offering $10 to $40 off orders, depending on how much shoppers spent. Peet's Coffee & Tea offered 15 percent off all organic products while Starbucks and Caribou Coffee have offered free or discounted coffee during previous Earth Days for patrons who purchased or brought in reusable tumblers." As with Tax Day freebies, Earth Day deals crop up close to the actual holiday, so keep in the loop on social media.
6. Administrative Professionals' Day Perks

Administrative professionals exist in all sorts of fields, and fittingly, all sorts of retailers are honoring the day (April 26) with deals. "Many flower and gift companies extend discounts for the event, ranging from 10 percent to 20 percent off," said Perez. Perez expects similar offers to those we saw last year from vendors such as Gourmet Gift Baskets, which touted 10 percent off orders; Gift Tree, which featured 20 percent off select gifts; SpaFinder which touted $10 off gift card purchases of $100 or more, and ClubsGalore which touted $10 off Administrative Professionals' Day orders. Restaurants are also keen on this workers' holiday, motivating companies to take employees out to lunch with special offers. "Last year, Outback offered up to 20 percent off lunch, while Z'Tejas offered a free slice of fudge pie for administrative professionals and Macaroni Express promoted BOGO free on Express Lunch entrees," noted Perez. Yet again, pay attention to social media. And if you're an administrative professional, maybe send a gentle reminder to your boss.

Reese's Mini Peanut Butter Chocolate Eggs Dethrone Peeps as Most Popular Easter Candy
Apr. 5, 2017 5:55 am

Even though people love to complain about their shape, turns out people can't get enough of Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs this Easter.

According to a recent survey by digital savings destination, RetailMeNot, Reese's Mini Peanut Butter Chocolate Eggs are what people want to find in their Easter baskets the most this year. The bite-size version of the peanut butter-filled treats beat out the former favorite, Peeps, by nearly 20 percent.

Here's what other candies people who took the survey picked as their favorite Easter treats.

Top 5 Easter Treats of 2017, According to RetailMeNot

1. Reese's Mini Peanut Butter Chocolate Eggs (53%)

2. Chocolate bunnies (48%)

3. Jelly beans (48%)

4. Hershey's Eggs (45%)

5. Peeps (34%)

While only 48 percent of the survey responders said they planned on buying candy this Easter, the ones who do plan on spending an average of $57, which will buy you nearly 20 $3 packages of Reese's Mini Peanut Butter Chocolate Eggs.

So what candy do you most want to see in your Easter basket? Drop me a line: john@kicks1063.com

In Case You Missed it!
Apr. 3, 2017 6:05 am

Country?s biggest acts were honored Sunday night at Las Vegas? T-Mobile Arena for the 52nd annual Academy of Country Music Awards. Luke Bryan and Dierks Bentley co-host the show for a second year as artists including Jason Aldean, Florida Georgia Line, Carrie Underwood, and Keith Urban battle for a slew of prizes.

Here's the list of winners at Sunday night's 52nd ACM Awards:

New Male Vocalist of the Year
Jon Pardi

New Female Vocalist of the Year
Maren Morris

New Vocal Duo or Group of the Year
Brothers Osborne

Single Record of the Year
"H.O.L.Y." -- Florida Georgia Line

Songwriter of the Year
Lori McKenna

Vocal Event of the Year
"May We All" -- Florida Georgia Line featuring Tim McGraw

Song of the Year
"Die a Happy Man" -- Thomas Rhett

Vocal Duo of the Year
Brothers Osborne

Vocal Group of the Year
Little Big Town

Album of the Year
The Weight of These Wings -- Miranda Lambert

Video of the Year
"Forever Country" -- Artists of Then, Now & Forever

Male Vocalist of the Year
Thomas Rhett

Female Vocalist of the Year
Miranda Lambert

Entertainer of the Year
Jason Aldean

9 April Fools' Day Pranks to Play on Facebook, Because Fake Engagements Are So Over!
Mar. 31, 2017 6:10 am

Some people go all out for April Fools' Day, staging the kind of elaborate pranks that require days, if not weeks, of planning. Then there are those of us who winds up searching for April Fools' Day pranks to play on Facebook the night of March 31, because planning ahead takes way too much effort. But your prankster procrastination doesn't mean you can't successfully pull the wool over your friends' virtual eyes.

The nature of social media is that we take things at face value ? when has anyone ever lied on the internet? ? so playing pranks on Facebook is almost too easy. A true prankster, however, won't settle for the usual fake pregnancy or relationship announcements. (Those were played out in 2007. Please stop.) This year is your chance to get creative, so even cynical Facebook veterans will believe your prank.

Some Facebook pranks are actually so successful they wind up on the news. A personal favorite is Ryan Roy's profile picture mimicry; back in 2013, he explained on Reddit that he would search for people with his same name, recreate their profile picture, and friend them on Facebook. Despite clearly being the work of a genius, people did not take it well.

So will your prank end up in the April Fools' Hall of Unofficial Fame this year? Only time will tell. Here are nine pranks to get you inspired.

1. Get A Fake Tattoo

People post about their tattoos all the time ? honestly, it's pretty much required ? so take April 1 as the opportunity to announce a "new" tattoo to your Facebook friends. You have a couple options here: If you're an artist or happen to know one, you can draw a deliberately poor-quality tattoo on yourself. Otherwise, you could head to the nearest purveyor of fake tattoos and pick out the tackiest you can find.
Next, slap a filter on a photo of the tattoo and share it to Facebook. Be sure to pretend you're super excited about the tattoo, and watch as the comment section fills up with awkward congratulations.

2. Photoshop Nicolas Cage Into Your Profile Picture

Photoshopping actor-turned-living-meme Nicolas Cage into things has become a time-honored tradition. For
April Fools' Day this year, edit your profile picture to include

3. Move To Canada

Did you threaten to move to Canada after the results of the 2016 election? Create a life event saying you moved to the land of hockey and politeness, preferably blaming some recent political mishap. For added verisimilitude, round up a few moving boxes and Instagram your "packing" process. Keep up the charade as long as you feel like it, or until your mom calls in a panic.

4. Like Everything Someone's Ever Posted

For those truly dedicated to the art of annoyance, choose a victim and like as many of their photos and posts that you can stomach. If you want to be truly irritating, start from their first post or photo on Facebook, and be sure to comment on the more embarrassing stuff so it shows up in other people's news feeds. Just try and choose someone you know well, so you know your relationship will withstand the strain of the prank.

5. Change Your (Or Someone Else's) Birthday

It's simple but guaranteed to confuse people: Sometime before the end of March, change your birthday to Apr. 1. Watch as your profile is flooded with well-wishes. To add another layer to the prank, change someone else's birthday without their knowledge if they leave themselves logged into Facebook while you're around.

6. Pretend You Met Someone Famous

Mashable came up with this prank: Find a fan-encounter photo of someone famous and post it to Facebook, claiming you randomly met the celebrity/artist/politician on the street. You'll definitely get called out, but it's harmless fun while it lasts.

7. Tag A Friend In Irrelevant Photos

Facebook lets you tag other people in photos, which is useful when someone forgets to tag your BFF in an Instagram where they look super cute. It's even more useful on Apr. 1, when you can tag your BFF in a bunch (but not too many) random Facebook photos where they're not actually present. Better yet, pick a random category of object, like a sock or a hat, so the tagging is consistent.

8. Write Up A Caricature Status

Esquire wrote about this particularly brilliant prank, and having been the victim of it before, I can say with certainty that it works. If you can find a way to log into someone's Facebook account, post a status that seems normal on the surface, but slightly exaggerates your victim's attributes. "Are they generally upbeat and full of vim? Then make them look like a nauseating narcissist," Esquire explains. The result is pure, reasonably plausible genius.

9. Pretend You Took A Mini-Vacay

If you have vacation photos you've never posted to Facebook, now is the time to put them out there. Pretend you decided to take a spontaneous vacation somewhere amazing, complete with photographic evidence. Nobody needs to know the photos are from 2014.

NBC Orders Crafts Reality Series Hosted by Amy Poehler & Nick Offerman
Mar. 30, 2017 7:10 am

Do you know someone who is really crafty? Then you should get them on this new show! Amy Poehler and Nick Offerman are teaming up for a new reality competition show at NBC. According to Deadline, Poehler and Offerman will host an unscripted show for the network called The Handmade Project, which has been given a six-episode series order. Produced by Poehler?s company Paper Kite, the weekly series will finally put the spotlight on an underappreciated interest: arts and crafts. Here?s more from Deadline?s report:

"Each week eight all-around makers, from all walks of life, will take on a series of projects with the hopes of impressing Poehler, Offerman and our expert judges. Over the course of each episode, the contestants must tackle a different theme, hand-making items in different disciplines ? the difficulty of which increases with every episode until a winner is crown. Shot in an outdoor setting, the series will also focus on the characters and camaraderie of those who enjoy creating their own crafts, all under the comedic guidance of Poehler and Offerman."

?I?m thrilled to be celebrating artists who make things by hand, and I?m looking forward to finally conquering my fear of paper mache,? Poehler said on the news. Offerman added: ?People who make things are my favorite kind of folk. Practical, clever and terrific in a pinch. That makes me tickled pink to have a front row seat at this prodigious display of talent, and admiring and cheering on an amazing crop of American makers. Plus, Amy and I have a strong tradition of tomfoolery so let?s see if we don?t have some good fun.? The show is currently looking for contestants, so if you?re a master of all things handmade, head here for more info.

Want Perfect Hard-Boiled Eggs For Easter? Here's How!
Mar. 30, 2017 6:07 am

Dyeing eggs for Easter remains popular, and in addition to bunnies and baskets and chocolate eggs, the real things mean a lot to people. Indeed, the American Egg Board says the average person consumed one-and-a-half dozen eggs at Easter in 2015. That's a lot of cooking.

To cut your time in the kitchen this Easter (which takes place on April 16 this year) ? and the stress that comes with getting the perfect peel ? check out the board's easier, faster way to hard-boil your Easter eggs.

Easy-Peel Hard-Boiled Eggs

Total time: 17 minutes
Ingredients: 12 eggs
Step 1: Heat 1/2- to 1-inch of water in a large saucepan to boiling over high heat. Carefully place steamer insert into pan over boiling water or proceed to Step 2, if not using a steamer insert.

Step 2: Carefully add eggs using a large spoon or tongs. Cover and continue cooking 12 minutes for large eggs (13 minutes for extra large eggs).
Step 3: Drain immediately and serve warm. Or, cool completely under cold running water or in bowl of ice water, then refrigerate.
Voila! Egg-ceptional hard-boiled eggs.

Did you know?

Fresh eggs may preferable in omelets but not for hard-boiled eggs. To make eggs easier to peel, the Egg Council recommends using eggs that are about 7 to 10 days old when hard boiling.

And once they're cooked? In the shell, hard-cooked eggs can be refrigerated safely up to one week. Refrigerate in their original carton to prevent odor absorption. Once peeled, eggs should be eaten that day.

Egg Peeling 101

The number one reason people choose not to hard-boil eggs? Peeling is a pain. Here's a trick an eggs-pert tip: gently tap large end of egg on countertop until shell is finely crackled. Starting peeling at large end, holding egg under cold running water to help ease the shell off. Patch.com

Mar. 29, 2017 7:15 am

A North Carolina jewelry store apologized to anyone offended by a billboard bearing a controversial message: "Sometimes, it's OK to throw rocks at girls." The billboard, which featured the words surrounded by precious stones, sparked a backlash on social media when it was erected by Spicer Greene Jewelers in Asheville. "Small steps like this lead to a culture of violence against women. Also, children will not see the humor in this billboard. All they will see is, 'It's OK to throw rocks at girls,'" resident Shannon Page wrote on the Facebook group WAX, West Asheville Exchange.The owners of the store, Eva-Michelle Spicer, 28, and her husband, Elliot, 27, apologized for any offense caused by the billboard. UPI

What do you think, too offensive? Drop me a line!

Are You Ready To Relive Those "Summer NIghts?"
Mar. 29, 2017 5:54 am

It's been nearly four decades since Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta attended Rydell High, but as the 40th anniversary of Grease approaches next year, it seems one Pink Lady and Greaser are planning their big return. Before accepting the Icon Award at the Fame Awards in Las Vegas, Newton-John hinted at a reunion with her Danny Zuko counterpart for 2018. "We are thinking up ways. Nothing to announce yet," she told The Mirror. "Forty years anniversary of Grease, which I can't believe. Time goes so fast. It is so exciting." Whatever that reunion ends up looking like, it may mark one of the Australian star's final performances. "As time goes on, I think of doing less and having more time off," she told The Mirror. However, she was quick to point out her own fibs. "Every year for the last 20 years, I thought I was retiring and then somebody would say, ?How about this?' and it's like, ?Oh, that looks fun,' or ?How about this?' Things that I would never think about." E!News

Can You Do This With Your Kid's Car Seat? Should You?
Mar. 28, 2017 6:00 am

Car seat safety continues to be a hot-button issue throughout parenting circles. When can they face forward? How old is too old for a booster? How high should that chest clip really be? Well a mom from Greene, Maine named Rachel McNamara recently went viral for her helpful car seat safety tips ? that have been pretty eye-opening, to say the least. The reason? In two side-by-side photos, McNamara can be seen holding her baby?s car seat overhead as well as upside down ? with her baby still in it. And it?s all to raise a pretty important question for parents: Can your baby?s car seat contain him or her if your car flips or rolls over in an accident? ?I?d like to clarify that I?m not advocating that parents should be flipping their kids upside down before every car ride,? she notes. ?Just that they should feel confident that their child would be safe IF the car seat was flipped over in an accident. I think this is a great visual and shows just how important proper car seat use is.? She makes some great points about car seat safety, but she's also drawn a lot of flack for using her own child for her demonstration! Take a look at the full story here: Babble.

12 Hilariously Sexist Dating Tips From 1938!
Mar. 28, 2017 6:00 am

OK, you girls are gonna get a kick out of this! There's no doubt it was a different world in 1938, some would say a better one! But looking back at a list of 12 dating tips for girls in 1938 shows you just how much things have changed! Some real doozies: "Don't sit in awkward positions", "Don't talk while dancing", "Wear a bra", and my personal favorite, "Don't drink too much"! Of course that last one is probably a good idea for all of us, even in 2017! Get the full list here: Trendingly

A Park In China Uses Facial Recognition to Prevent Toilet Paper Theft!
Mar. 27, 2017 6:57 am

Yep, you read that right: A park in China has installed a facial recognition toilet paper dispensing system to prevent theft. The newly installed machines in bathrooms at Temple of Heaven park in Beijing scan visitors' faces for three seconds before rationing 24 to 27.5 inches of toilet paper, which the park upgraded from one-ply to two-ply. The machines are placed at the height of the average man or woman and will not dispense additional toilet paper until nine minutes have passed. Let's be honest, don't we all know someone who uses a lot more than 24 to 27.5 inches of toilet paper!?! Read more of this crazy story here: UPI

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